What does it mean to be an artist? Suave outfits and finished sketchbooks? Million dollar paintings?
That's what the masses think. But what do the artists think? What do I think?
Being an artist, to me, means having the guts to put yourself out there for the world to see. It means being vulnerable. It means giving people the freedom to look at the work that carried you through the darkest times in your life, and judge it. It means not being hurt when those judgements aren't what you expected. It means standing by yourself and what you believe. It means sharing your story, no matter the outcome.
Being an artist can almost feel like a disease. It's like having this burning aversion to bull shit-- avoiding small talk, bureaucracy, and shallow relationships like the plague.
As a person who seeks to find meaning in every moment here on this earth, it can feel impossible to exert my time and energy on the mundanities of life. Like, why are we talking about the weather, again?
At times, I feel isolated, like I am carrying this burden-- though I don't know exactly what it is.
I've come to realize that artists like myself are granted the power to experience life more deeply than others, but must learn to channel that energy (or else...go insane!). Filtering out the bad or stale energy in my life is just an extension of that process. To become closer to who I am, I have had to intentionally disconnect myself from the things that dampen my flame.
Unfortunately, this concept makes lots of people uncomfortable. And you know what I say? So what, and good riddance. I've got the creativity bug, and I'm never going back. Maybe it will change my life forever, but maybe I like it that way.